If you actually believe that this isn't a gimmick, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I'd like to sell you.

I suppose that it's apropos that on the day my boycott of Topps begins its fourth month, that this story breaks.

I don't know how Trader Crack and the Orlando Sentinel found this out before I did, but Topps has come up with an explanation regarding the Kosuke Fukudome Bowman Chrome "error" card.

Recall, that this is the KosFu card that appears to have been designed for Fukudome to autograph as A) it has no facsimile autograph on the front; B) the "CERTIFIED AUTOGRAPHED ISSUE" logo that has been on just about every Topps autographed card for the last decade is printed on the front, and C) a white box with the words "NOT VALID WITHOUT STICKER" is on the reverse side. Of course, there is no autograph on the card.

(The "Not Valid" box is where the now-familiar black hologram sticker Topps uses for authentication purposes on autographed cards and some gamers. If you have one of these cards and peel off the sticker you'll see the "NOT VALID" phrase.)

The party line is that Topps "inadvertently inserted a Bowman Chrome Kosuke Fukudome Autographed Rookie Card (which is not autographed) into packs of the recently-released 2008 Bowman Chrome Baseball. A total of 1900 copies were issued. Fukudome is not a subject on the Autographed Rookie Card checklist nor was he ever solicited as one."

If all this is true, then it begs these questions: If Topps never had intended to include an autographed KosFu BowChro card, why did they produce a card that appears to have every intention of being autographed by KosFu? And why did this card magically appear in packs of BowChro? And why did Topps wait until two weeks after BowChro's release to notify The Hobby about this card? And how do they know exactly how many packed out?

I'm taking this card out of the "Honest Mistake" column and into the "Bullshit Gimmick" one.

(Images lovingly ripped off from the Orlando Sentinel)

For the final time...

This is a legit error card.



This is a gimmick card.



And this... The jury is still out on.



Got it? Good.

Stufff Joe Collector Likes: #8 Topps Gimmicks

As previously mentioned, Bowman Chrome is a product Joe Collector eats up. There's nothing Joe enjoys more than collecting cards that have already been issued, b ut are shiny and cost four times as much. After all, it's BowChro and it's worth something. But there's one thing Joe loves even more than BowChro and that's unannounced short-prints. They're also worth something.

So what happens when Topps combines both Bowman Chrome with gimmicks. What else!

BOWCHRO GIMMICK-JO!!!!

Imagine Joe's excitement when checked eBay and found that there are not one, but two new gimmick cards of Kosuke Fukudome for him to chase after.

Oh sure, he heard the rumors that Topps was about sign Fukudome to an autograph contract; and that all those unsigned base cards with "NOT VALID WITHOUT STICKER" were probably made in anticipation of Fukudome's signature; and that all those sticker-less cards must have been inserted into packs as an "accident."



Yeah, accident. That's the ticket.

But the other Fukudome card, well, Joe just about shit a brick when he saw that Fukudome BowChro card in his WBC jersey.

But wait, the madness isn't just limited to BowChro. Oh no. Joe had heard a while back that Topps was going to insert into factory sets of 2008 Topps a special Fukudome card. (You know, to try to make it up to collectors who were insulted that Topps would demean itself by gimmicking-up their flagship product.) Since Joe hardly ever bothers with regular Topps, he thought nothing of it. After all, it's not Chrome and it's actually affordable; ergo, it's not worth something.

But it is regular Topps, and Joe buys a factory set of it when it comes out anyway -- if only to pretend to know what it's like to collect cards that aren't worth something.

So imagine, if you will, Joe's excitement when he ripped open his factory set, found the Fukudome bonus card, and saw that it was sequentially numbered "UH1" on the back.

"OMG!!! DO YOU BELIEVE TOPPS ACCIDENTALLY INSERTED FUKUDOME'S UPDATES AND HIGHLIGHTS CARD IN MY FACTORY SET!!! THAT CARD'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE OUT UNTIL NOVEMBER!!!! I HAVEN'T SEEN ONE ON EBAY YET, SO MINE MUST BE AN ERROR!!! IT'S....

FUKU-JO-ME!!!!!!

He immediately went out and bought 20 sets, ripped them, picked out the KosFuku card, and posted them all on eBay as some sort of variation card blissfully unaware that every Topps factory set has this card.

The gimmick that blew up in Topps' face.

In the matter of 24-hours, this card went from yet another merely ridiculous gimmick, to an embarrassingly stupid gimmick.

Credibility, schmedibility.

Gimmickry to the Tenth Power

Well, I guess it was inevitable. Rather than one gimmick card of a non-existent player, or a card of a player commemorating a non-existent milestone, Allen & Ginter has a whole team's worth of non-existent bullshit!

Randomly inserted into packs are a ten card set of fake 19th Century players called "Team Orange." Apparently, this Team Orange has something to do with that equally idiotic "Crack the Code" promotion.

I already know what you're thinking: "Who the fuck cares anymore?"

---

And in a related story, the continuing boycott of all Topps baseball products by famed card collector and cardblogger Chris Harris is about to enter its third month.

Still "On Notice"

I have in my formerly nicotine stained hands (crunch, crunch, crunch) a press release from Topps. It appears that the 2008 Topps baseball factory sets will have a "bonus card" of Koskue Fukudome. Whether or not this "bonus card" will be numbered as part of the base set -- and therefore a true "rookie card" -- is unclear.

So let me get this straight. Topps posted to their website (and it's still there as of 7/14) that the second series of Topps baseball WOULD have a Kosuke Fukudome rookie card. Then, they pull the card at the last minute without bothering to tell anyone until after the fact. To add insult to injury, they stealthily insert into packs a gimmicked Fukudome card, and now they're finally getting around to issuing a Fukudome rookie (we think), but only in factory sets.

What a fustercluck.

If you're a collector, you have to be asking yourself: "Why did I buy those 2008 Topps waxboxes, again?"

And if Topps is going to pull a stunt like this next year -- and given their recent actions, you know they will -- why would anyone collect next year's Topps baseball?

Topps, it's because of crap like this I haven't bought any of your products in seven weeks. With this (and other) actions, I don't see myself collecting Topps anytime soon.

You are still "On Notice."

He's at it Again...

Take one guess as to who paid $401.99 for the Johan Santana fake no-hitter gimmick card?



(h/t bdj610 via Olbermann Watch)

Card #4

Well jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, get a look at this!



It's Kosuke Fukudome's first Major League Topps card! Of course, its STILL NOT A REAL ROOKIE CARD, but who cares, right?

OBTW, the checklist on topps.com still lists card #645 from the 2008 Topps baseball set as a non-existant Kosuke Fukudome RC. The boycott continues until the gimmicks and deceptive marketing practices cease.

This Just In from Our Irish Newsroom....

... Jay Bruce is the first of Topps "Red Hot Rookie" gimmick redemption cards.

Also, this just in...

THERE IS STILL NO KOSUKE FUKUDOME ROOKIE CARD IN 2008 TOPPS BASEBALL!

Kazuo Uzuki: Where Are They Now?

With all the controversy about Topps' multitude of series two gimmick cards, let's take a few moments to catch-up on the subject of Topps' series one gimmick card: Kosuke Fukudome's "compatriot," Kazuo "The Uzi" Uzuki.



This rather creepy video was uploaded by "kwatanabe52" (52, get it?) and shows "Uzuki" chilling out in New York's Central Park and signing an autograph for one of his "fans."

In the three months since it was uploaded this video has been played less than 600 times. (I guess that whole "viral marketing" idea didn't work, huh Topps?)

But who is Kazuo Uzuki? We may have found our answer.

According to the Wall Street Journal, Uzuki is actually Sensen Lin, a student at NYU Law School. According to the article, Topps paid Lin $500 for the picture and another $100 to appear in the aformentioned video.

And get this, Lin isn't even Japanese! He's an American of Chinese ancestry.

Upper Deck Lowers Their Standards (just a bit).

In my rage over Topps bait-and-switching the Kosuke Fukudome RC, I passed overlooked this.

I'm not as angry with Upper Deck with this one because, after the series one Hillary fiasco, I think we all were expecting that they'd pull a similar stunt. I'm also not as angry because, unlike the Kosuke Fukudome gimmick card (which, BTW, is still listed on topps.com as base set card #645), both versions of these cards were posted to the checklist on upperdeck.com. That and, again, unlike the Topps Fukudome, it does not compromise the integrity of the base set.

But just because I'm not as mad, it still doesn't mean I like it.

(h/t Orlando Sentinel's Sports Stuff)

On the other hand...

I'm more disappointed than angry over this one. Upper Deck has still not confirmed the existence of this variation. But I guess if you absolutely have to lower yourself to gimmicks, then short-printed variations (which do NOT compromise the base set) are the way to go.

Another Day, Another Bullshit Gimmick.

The Johan Santana card in this picture is card #661 in the 2008 Topps baseball set. (And to think, you actually thought there were only 660 cards in the Topps set?) According to the eBay auction -- the only one of this card offered so far -- card #661 "commemorates" the "no-hitter" that Johan Santana "pitched" for the Mets on September 28, 2008.

Yes, it says September 28, 2008.

(Today's date is June 2, 2008.)

Let the Topps hatred commence in 3, 2, 1...

Topps: Helping Spread Manbearpig Awareness.

Don't worry, it's not the real Manbearpig. It's only another bullshit Topps gimmick card -- this one of Al Gore.

For those not aware of the biggest threat to the human race as we know it, let the former Vice President explain.





(h/t Cardboard Mania)

Even More Stupidity from Topps.

You didn't think they'd stop at just one, did you?



This is Yasuhiko Yabuta, set-up man for the Kansas City Royals. And yes, Topps has decided to (stupidly) replace his legit Rookie Card with a gimmicked short-print.



Meet Alexei Ramirez, backup outfielder for the Chicago White Sox. Like Yabuta and Fukudome, he played in the 2006 World Baseball Classic -- only for Cuba. And just like Yabuta and Fukudome, there is no Alexei Ramirez rookie card in series two Topps. Only this gimmick card.



Ummm, wow. Mere words can not describe what I think of this card.

Memo to Topps:

DO YOU REALLY, REALLY, THINK CARD COLLECTORS ARE THIS GULLIBLE?

DO YOU REALLY, REALLY, THINK CARD COLLECTORS ARE ACTUALLY GOING TO COLLECT THESE CARDS?

DO YOU REALLY, REALLY, THINK THAT CONSTANTLY APPEALING TO THE LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR -- ESPECIALLY IN SUCH A CYNICAL MANNER -- IS GOOD FOR THE HOBBY?

DO YOU EVEN REALIZE THE LONG-TERM DAMAGE YOU ARE DOING TO THE HOBBY WITH THESE GIMMICKS?

DO YOU EVEN CARE?

I know one thing, as long as the gimmicks continue, this collector will no longer be purchasing Topps baseball products.

Gimmicking away Topps' credibility, one card at a time.

Alex Gordon.

Alay Soler.

Derek Jeter (and friends).

Jacoby Ellsbury.

Poley Walnuts.

Kazuo Uzuki.

"Jon" Smoltz.

The Rip Master.

You can now add the name of Kosuke Fukudome to the list of Topps' bullshit gimmick cards.

There is NO, repeat, NO Kosuke Fukudome rookie card in Topps series two. Instead there's this...


... a gimmicked short-print.

Un-Fucking-Believable.

More info as it develops.

Yes, This Guy Is Real.

In an attempt to gimmick away what little relevance their Bowman brand still had with collectors, Topps has included autographed inserts of over 20 Major League scouts in their just-released 2008 Bowman. But some collectors have had questions about this particular scout card.



This is an autograph of the mysterious "Bowman Scout." Who is this guy? Is he even real? Or do we have another Kazuo Uzuki? Or "Rip Master?"

First off, yes, The Bowman Scout is a real person. He is an actual scout for an American League team who has worked as a consultant for Topps since the early 90s. According to a 2006 interview with Beckett, The Scout (who wishes to remain anonymous) says he attends 300-400 baseball games a year, ranging from high school to the Big Leagues.

Among The Scout's greatest "discoveries:" Mike Piazza (1992 Bowman), Jorge Posada ('94), Matt Holliday ('99), Jose Reyes and Justin Morneau (2001).

And despite his work with Topps, he says he doesn't collect baseball cards.

So now you know, and knowing is half the battle.